Cancer Information - How to Reduce the Trauma of Emotional Pain!
You see, when there is crisis in the family, many look around to the strongest person to support them emotionally. In this case Barbara was perceived as the strongest (outside of myself) and relatives turned to her for comfort and support.
But they did this without realizing that Barbara may have needed support herself. You must understand that finding out a loved one has cancer is devastating for all involved.
Not everyone is able to lend support in a meaningful way to those who need it. Not everyone is able to be positive or even just maintain a 'neutral' attitude. Not everyone is able to rise to the occasion. It's unfortunate. But that is just the way life is sometimes. Nobody is perfect.
"But if only they would ........if only they could........why can't they.....". This sort of thinking only increases your own emotional stress. So don't think this way, it doesn't serve you. And it doesn't help your wellbeing. Accept people for where they are at. They are doing the best they can.
Realize that others around you are also hurting. Understand that others may not be able to support you. Understand that you may have to support them. It may not be fair. Some days you may struggle to support yourself. That's okay. But recognize that everybody is in emotional pain.
Tell the people around you, how you are feeling. Tell them that you love them. Communication can help to relieve and reduce the stress involved with cancer and the fear of the unknown. And that goes for everybody involved. Let's face it, nobody wants to lose you. And worse still, nobody wants to deal with the experience either.
That's what my wife and I experienced and that's what we learned. And now we teach others how to do the same.
Now is the time to be patient with everybody. Including yourself. Love yourself and love others. Learn from your experience. Embrace the learning. And know that the people around you do love you. They aren't perfect but they do love you.
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